“The Fight Conitues…Alton’s Story”

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“In educational settings that support climates of safety, adults and students respect each other. A safe school environment offers positive personal role models in its faculty. It provides a place for open discussion where diversity and differences are respected; communication between adults and students is encouraged and supported; and conflict is managed and mediated constructively.

Cultures and climates of safety support environments in which teachers and administrators pay attention to students’ social and emotional needs as well as their academic needs. Such environments emphasize “emotional intelligence,” as well as educational or intellectual pursuits. Students experience a sense of emotional “fit” and of respect within the school body, and may be less likely to engage in or be victimized by harmful behavior.

A culture of safety creates “shame free zones” in which daily teasing and bullying is not accepted as a normal part of the adolescent culture.9 School environments characterized by bullying and meanness can lead to student isolation and fear. At best, school environments that turn a blind eye to bullying and teasing inhibit the work of school–learning and growth. At the worst, such environments allow behavior that fosters fear and fury that stunts the healthy development of the victims of that behavior, and may lead to psychological and physical violence.”

Just a little of what I read from

Threat Assessment in Schools: A Guide to Managing Threatening Situations and to Creating Safe School Climates 

Department of Education (ED) and Secret Service, 2002

Yet I find myself battling now with this school district about bullying and creating a hostile environment among the students. Totally insane, but we have filed complaints and waiting on our attorney to move forward. I am so speechless no words could ever explain the disbelief.

All I can stand on is the truth and what is right. We stay in constant t prayer for this warfare against what we know is the root of all evil, money. That is what it all boils down to.

Because of the “worth” of this school district no one wants to go up against them. Not one government entity that represents civil rights for our students want to represent my son(s) who has endured obvious abuse while trying to get an education.

Although the school district, who we have been nice and not exposed their name continuously, continues to retaliate on social media and other obvious outlets…my son still wants to tell his story and I feel he is entitled to do so.

Please share and keep his story alive.

Everyday, he tells of the bullying, Restraint and Quiet Room and why the school was wrong. They do not deserve to carry on with their lives while he fights to gain his back because of their wrongdoing.

This article is based on my right to free speech, and is based on information from the public.

“Bullied While Others Watch in Silence”

“I had a bad day mom. All the kids bullied me and the teachers didn’t do anything”.

“Everyone laughed at me in PE and called me a baby…the teachers laughed too”

“A kid put up his middle finger at me and all she said was she didn’t see it…the cameras right there”

The list can go on and on with the stories heard in the last two months but Lets stop for a second and ponder on the question…how does a parent send their child back to a school environment such as this?

It is one thing to have your child be bullied, teased, and even physically injured by a student peer, but to think the teachers or staff are present when the incident occurs is unacceptable. Especially when the student is in a “therapeutic” environment where positive life skills and behaviors are described to be priority.

The golden rule was once taught: “Treat others how you want to be treated”. It’s sad but it no longer exist in 2017.  Instead we have discrimination at its finest, boldly presented in your face, daring the parent or student pursue it.

It leaves me absolutely speechless when I experience a child expressing the hurt they feel from being laughed at while school staff do nothing. Or to hear a child say,

“I hid in a locker because that’s what bullies do to people and that’s how I felt, so I put myself in there.”  

No child should feel such low self esteem of themselves. I have had enough. If you are blessed to have a child express bullying to you, please do not stand by and do nothing. By the time he comes to you he has already dealt with it for a while…and is calling for help.  You are obligated to help!

As for our school staff sitting in silence? God sees all and children are our future. If you allow them To be damaged from bullying as you watch, what do we have to look for in the future!

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

“Breaking Through Betrayal…Turning Trauma into Trust”

Hello everyone we haven’t updated much since the storm and having to truly decide on homeschool or not.
The decision has not been an easy one but we have choosen Homeschooling…it’s sad to say but as excited as Alton was to go to school his first two days he witnessed a child get hit and then was hit himself by another student (on both days)…and while at the nurse office saw more “quiet rooms” which caused flashbacks and traumatic responses. Although this school is suppose to be a therapeutic one, there is not much therapy going on.

When Alton’s response from the quiet room” triggers was that of fight-flight-freeze, instead of calming the situation, the staff created a hostile one…in turn creating a negative response.

With that being said, it was not hard to keep him home after hearing him tell his side of what transpired both days, it was hard to make the final decision though. Having family and friends express their concerns for me and the affects homeschooling would have, gave me joy. However,  I had to remind them and myself  this is bigger than “me” and this fight will demand sacrifices. So through Tropical Storm Harvey I remained prayerful and decided I will homeschool Alton rather than re traumatize him.

As we wait for our ARD Meeting with the school district and its legal representation, Alton is able to feel safe and learn as he should. After eight months of PTSD I can say I see his smile more and more! Which equals progress! And as long as there is progress I will continue to press forward. Is it easy, no! But it will get easier. Altons mental health and future is priority for me. Knowing if we do not break through the barriers of trauma now, we will not have a breakthrough later…only a breakdown!

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

The Bill of Rights for Incarcerated Children


Rally for Children of Incarcerated Parents Bill of Rights

The Bill of Rights for Incarcerated Children

  1. I have the right to be kept safe and informed at the time of my parent’s arrest.
  2. I have the right to be heard when decisions are made about me.
  3. I have the right to be considered when decisions are made about my parent.
  4. I have the right to be well cared for in my parent’s absence.
  5. I have the right to speak with, see and touch my parent.
  6. I have the right to support as I face my parent’s incarceration.
  7. I have the right not to be judged, blamed or labeled because my parent is incarcerated.
  8. I have the right to a lifelong relationship with my parent.

*This is based on the SFCIP and the SF Bill of Rights for Incarcerated www.sfcip.org.

“How Childhood Trauma Could Be Misdiagnosed for ADHD”

I had to share this information because I realize today’s therapist, psychologists and other physicians do not know or do not have the time to correctly assess and diagnose our children. I am blessed to have studied psychology and I am always researching and learning more along the way, so when I heard ADHD first come out the mouths of school personnel about my son who is autistic…red flags popped up and I began to pay closer attention.

I am aware once diagnosed with autism, the diagnosis doesn’t go away. You don’t grow out of autism, there is no treatment that will heal autism and there is no medication for autism. On the flip side, there are “other” diagnosis that can be given in order to prescribe medication to help the child focus or calm down. The most common one is ADHD where a number of stimulants can be taken and sometimes bring about great results.  However,   when misdiagnosed, the same stimulant medications can create a world is chaos and possibly life long (negative) effects. Leaving a family and child more damaged than doing any good.

My lil man was diagnosed with Severe ODD, Severe Anxiety, ADHD, and Sensory Integration immediately after being restrained and placed in seclusion 39 times in one day. Yes, you heard me correctly. I did not disagree with the psychiatrist, I actually followed all of her recommendations including starting him on Quillivant. It didn’t take one week before I began to see the terrible side affects! He was violent, wanting to hurt himself, and in my sons own words, “was crazy”. When speaking to the psychiatrist again, we were given another doasage to try and left the office feeling like we had gone through an assembly line. Was she even listening? Did she take any of the traumatic incident into consideration? I felt as if like our education system, these children are grouped together and given the “general prescription” used for the disorders under and umbrella.

The facts are…trauma and ADHD are similar but unless you take the time to document and assess the child a misdiagnosis is easy.

NO MORE MEDICINE FOR MY SON!

After trying three stimulant meds (Vyvanse, Quillevant, Focalin) and one popular non stimulant (Intuiv), I have decided to trust God and work through the PTSD with intensive therapies and time. He has nightmares when he takes the medicine, he gets aggressive in language and behavior when he takes the medication and it makes him sick to his stomach. I’m thankful for the correct diagnosis and finally Cognitive Behavior Therapy because when you know what’s wrong you can fix it. We as parents have to research, read and be informed! If we do not, we are allowing our children to be damaged. Help them help your child by knowing what is truly going on with them. Make the Dr’s take the time you deserve, so the diagnosis is correct.

And do not be afraid to ask questions, probe at the mind of the person you are trusting to care for your child. Make them work! Your children depend on you to protect them and care for them! 💕💓💓💕💞

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

“Molding our Children Today for Tomorrow”

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As a mother of three And watching all the injustice in our world today I can not stress enough how important it is that we as parents, both young and old, mold our children in PREPARATION for tomorrow. Having adopted these two handsome boys, I now worry for their future. I read stories of injustice and black lives matter and I feel compassion for all involved. But when it touches your home or your life, it becomes a true reality.

Law, psychology and politics has always peeked my interest; however, going through the injustice of the school system gave the drive to be a part of law and politics. I recognize the black lives ending today began being destroyed yesterday.

My son was your typical “boy” who showed signs of possible autism. having this brought to the school’s attention I figured we test him, and move forward. We did, yet in the mean time he was abused through restraint and Seclusion without consent and broken mentally. He was sent home with the onset of chronic trauma with me not aware of anything. It was then I thought, 

“How many more are sent home with a write up or phone call of bad behavior? How many of our children are being broken or abused, sent home only to be disciplined by parent who don’t know?”

It is a true Pipeline to Prison! School staff are choosing to put children in “cool Down Rooms” that are small as 5ft x 5ft, cemented and/or padded walls, conditioning students minds to accept and be okay with this setting. So, in the years to come my son or your son are already conditioned to know what a jail cell is like and to be ok innit.  My son or your son would have  already been in Trauma mode for years and not afraid of the police! Which makes it easier for law enforcement to arrest them or worde kill them. Because with trauma, the brain stays in survival/no fear mode…

It starts now! It starts today so we can see them live tomorrow. Mold their minds in a positive manner! Trauma is real and if your child suffers from it, there is help. I am a testimony in progress…..FIND OUT WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR CHILDS (SCHOOL) LIFE. Know there is always a REASON FOR THE BEHAVIOR.

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

“Simple Things in Life…”

Moments like this one mean absolutely nothing to others but to me…it’s the simple things in life that brings me the most joy!

After months of him not wanting his hair cut my lil man remained calm and allowed the barber to clean him on up!!!😃😄😃😄 I have to be honest and say this was 7 o’clock in the evening! I never had to fight him for hours to go to the barber shop…but Trauma is real!

As a psych major I have to say on the job training is the best training and knowledge is key! So once again I am speechless at the affects of chronic trauma. It is truly “undoing what was done”!

During traumatic experiences, a child’s brain is in heightened state of stress and fear-related hormones are activated. Remaining in this heightened state can change the emotional, behavioral and cognitive functioning of the child in order to maintain and promote survival. Over time, these traumatic experiences can have a significant impact on a child’s future behavior, emotional development, mental and physical health.

The brain is designed to change in response to patterned, repetitive stimulation. And the stimulation associated with fear and trauma changes/alters the brain. Since being restrained and placed in confinement at school Alton has not been the same. The aggressive behavior, the disregard for self care and the survival instinct is mind blowing. To hear him not fearing anyone or saying no one can hurt him again, makes my heart drop.

I know with prayer and Gods guidance it will get better. I stand on that every minute of the day. I have accepted this assignment of not allowing trauma to ruin my sons life. In order to heal (i.e., alter or modify trauma), therapeutic interventions must activate those portions of the brain that have been altered by the trauma. Understanding the persistence of fear-related emotional, behavioral, cognitive and physiological patterns can lead to focused therapeutic experiences that modify those parts of the brain impacted by trauma.
y when working with Alton. “

“This too shall pass”

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

“Life after Restraints and Seclusion…A Day in Our Shoes”

I had to catch my lil man sleeping because he no longer likes taking pictures:( Another reality of him being restrained and placed in a school’s “quiet room”.

As we grow closer and closer to the first day of school, I feel the anxiety level picking up. I Cringe at the thought of having to speak to the school before hand to insure my lil man is not handled in a manner any other child is. Praying he is treated as an individual student who suffers from trauma instead of being grouped with all children.

Today as we visit our therapist my son expressed his joy for going to school yet his feelings about the school administration who “teased me with pop tarts” or the “many quiet rooms they have” this was our therapist first time witnessing this behavior. As tears rolled down my cheeks I could only whisper the words, “he is a different child now, this is what they did to him”.

To have someone who is a physician confirm these actions are affects of trauma…being restrained and in confinement only brings about fight-flight-freeze. He can not be handled in a way of a student with “bad conduct” he will have to have a Individual plan to therapeutically work with him on a daily basis. Alton can explain very well how he fights to keep them from holding or grabbing him, is it right? No it is not. But I ask, what would an animal do if you corner them in a small closet? An animal would fight. And that’s what he felt he had to do, now my baby feels like he has to fight whenever he feels threatened. He feels like nothing hurts him now:( a very dangerous place to be mentally!

Words can not express my feelings about this happening to many families and children in our world today. I want to share this with others so they may question when their children come home a total different rebellious kid. Question the school setting. Get involved. Talk to your children to see are they being bullied by children and school staff. Listen to them, there may a reason. If these behaviors are not broken and treated in a positive manner, they can quickly become worse as these children grow up.

I sent my (adopted) sons to a public school, they were both restrained and placed in seclusion. One only expressed it to us after the other was broken mentally and sent home for me to figure out. I trusted our public school system to keep them safe not harm them. Now I have a child who has to fight the affects of trauma every minute of everyday.

I will keep you guys posted about the steps to our first day of school. This one won’t be an easy one…I have several other options and am praying for God to guide our next step. Late nights good nights…we’ve had one panic attack!! Progress!

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

“Black and White”

Riding home from church I listen to the boys talk amongst themselves and I’m thankful for just another day to show them love and help guide them through life. With all the racism in this world today I am reminded my parents did one of the bravest things in their time…got married and had a daughter (me). Now in 2017 I have been blessed with these two handsome boys who parents also did a great thing…for married and gave birth to them both!

It is sad to see what has happened in Charlottesville, Virginia, but I feel it’s just bringing  it to the light. I remember when our battle began with the school district for restraining my son I was floored to see the segregation and discrimination going on. BUT IT IS REAL! What happened in Virgina is real.

What can we do to stop it? What can we do to change it? I begins from within…one person at a time! I am proud to say “my father was white and my mother was black”…I can say I know what it feels like to experience orejudice on both sides. And because of my mixed race, I am not afraid to stand for or against either side.

Everyday I find myself saying,

“F@&$ XXXX-ISD” dealing with the results of (ignorance and racism) restraints and confinement, knowing it could have been avoided. My son complains everyday of false body pains, he is car sick every time we ride in the truck, flashbacks of each person who did this to him…retaliation at its fullest.

Racism is real and it is happening more and more everyday…Virginia is just another reminder. Our fight in education is a reminder to me that it’s happening and to majority of black male students.

While I am asked to walk away from this fight, I will not! Bullying in any form and especially racism, discrimination and segregation…is zero tolerance!

This has been published pursuant to free speech.

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